I’m a big proponent of the new year. I think there’s something to be said about hope collectively being awoken from hibernation, looking back on another year lived and studying it. Studying the lessons learned, the smiles earned, all that sentimental stuff.
Any opportunity to reflect on the passage of time is a welcome one, which is why I love the new year so much. So here’s a little list of twelve lessons from my 2022, one for each month. It’s kind of written like I’m talking to myself (I am), but you can listen in.
Hope is beautiful and necessary. Possibility can be found in new cities, opportunities, people, anywhere.
Patterns are escapable, but when it feels like they’re not, there will be people to remind you of it.
It’s important to think deeply about big decisions and trust your intuition but remember that no matter where you decide to leap, you’ll learn how to find your footing.
Endings can be so bittersweet. But love doesn’t expire.
Be adaptable and open to change. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expect, but expectations aren’t meant to be held on to too tightly.
Healing is on your timeframe: no one else’s.
There’s no right way to leave and there’s no guarantee you’ll be remembered or missed. New beginnings start on shaky ground and that’s okay.
Find happiness in your own company. The loneliest you’ll ever be is when you’re lonely around another person.
Stand in the sun and admire nature. Paint portraits of home in your head. Life is beautiful, and it’s useful to ground yourself in small joys when you can find them.
Living outside of your comfort zone is so fulfilling once you get used to it.
Home can take many forms.
It’s okay to change your mind.
I like to remember that the year might end, but nothing actually does. 2022 doesn’t exist separately from 2023, it’s just a continuation. Which maybe seems obvious. But I think the ‘new year’ tends to be framed as a reinvention. I don’t want to reinvent myself. I don’t want to be sold on a lifestyle or product that will somehow eliminate sadness or bad days or mistakes. 2023 is going to be full of more lessons learned, more disappointments.
In fact, 2022 was probably full of more lessons learned than any year before it. It had loss, grief, confusion, some of the worst days ever. It’s not like I liked the bad days. I wasn’t with my head in my knees, tears running down my face, smiling that at least I’d be better off. That’s bullshit. But more than any other year, 2022 was full of people who supported me through the bad days. Love so big I couldn’t contain it, paired with smiles so wide it nearly ripped me in half. I don’t even have words for my gratitude.
I was rejected by schools, scholarships, magazines, people. That wasn’t fun or welcome. Despite that, 2022 is one of the best years I can remember. I love the person I'm becoming. I don’t think I’ve said that in any moment of any past year. I am so proud that 2022 is that year. Bad days, good days, forgettable days, it all blurs together. And it doesn’t matter much at the end, at the precipice of the new year. Right now I am thinking of one of the last days before I left for college, my friend hugging me fiercely, saying “you’re my best friend;” all of our friends trying to hold back tears for an afternoon. I am thinking of me meeting a wonderful new friend on a cruise and dancing alone on a dance floor to live music in front of a whole crowd of people; uncaring and unembarrassed. I am thinking of farmers markets with new friends, my favorite boba tea place with my favorite people, late night pool parties where everyone lets me play Taylor Swift.
I might not be prepared for what 2023 will bring, I might not be healed from 2022. And yet. I’m so grateful for this year. I have hope for the next year.
I don’t have a resolution for 2023, but I do have a theme I want to revolve around. Balance. It’s all I want to work towards, it’s what I want to achieve.
my writing <3
No new published pieces this month, but I did finally cross an item off my to-do list by creating an author website! Basically you can find the links to my book, this newsletter, and my writing portfolio (where I’ve been published, basically).
I hope this year was kind to you and that the next is even better. I’m probably going to keep posting this at the end of the month instead of in the middle. See you on the flip side :)
-Nia Mahmud